Restrictions lifting? The suspense is killing us!

Roger Watson

There is a scene in Robin Hood Men in Tights when Blinkin, a blind member of Robin’s Merry Men (was ‘Merry’ a euphemism by any chance?), receives a knock on the head and proclaims ‘I can see’. He immediately runs into a tree and decides, after all, that he cannot. I feel a bit like Blinkin these days. One day I think ‘we’re free’ only to be told we are not. Then I think ‘we will be free’, especially as Matt Hancock is off the scene, only to realise that his replacement Sajid Javid MP says ‘we see no reason’ not to lift restrictions on 19 July. That is a very far cry from saying he will lift restrictions. He says there will be ‘no going back’ once we do lift restrictions. But, in order not to go back, we need to get there first.

Let us face it, Javid could have proved his good intentions, on assuming office, by immediately calling for a lifting of all restrictions. Failing that, at least he could have gone for the interim date of 5 July. But no. I strongly suspect we are in for more of the same and—always reserving the right to be wrong and the hope that I am—I can see the 19 July being a proverbial damp squib. The problem with Javid is that, unlike Matt Hancock, he has some credibility and experience as a politician. I cannot imagine anyone ever believed a word that Hancock said. He always appeared to me like a clown on the verge of taking to the circus ring to give a performance with buckets full of glitter and an exploding hat. Javid, in contrast, speaks in reassuring and oleaceous tones. He did not have much competition, and the bar was very low, but he is a much more convincing package that Hancock. This, in my mind, makes him more dangerous. This chap could talk us right back into a lockdown and we would hardly know it had happened. In fact, we would all be thanking him for it.

And where will he get his ammunition? Of course, from ‘the scientists’ who, only this week urged the government to extend the list of symptoms that could be classified as COVID-19. Apparently, they want a ‘runny nose’ and a headache to be included as COVID symptoms. For goodness’ sake, the whole population will have the coronavirus at this rate. What will be next on the symptom list? I suggest ‘being a bit under the weather’, a ‘slight chill’, ‘a touch of the lurgy’ and ‘missing your mum’ could be key symptoms. Why don’t we all give up the fight, declare ourselves COVID-19 positive, shred our passports, lock ourselves in our houses and throw away the keys?

If the scientists do not come up with something that causes us to be under perpetual restrictions, then there is always the global heath community to turn to. The international doom mongers just delight in reporting the carnage that is being reaped by some COVID variant or other. If it is not in India it is in Brazil, or it is in US prisons. And now a second wave has engulfed Indonesia. I do not doubt that some awful things are happening in other countries and in situations where people are already in poor health and living in less-than-ideal conditions. But with public health fanatics having found their cause and having got well into their stride, this continual reporting of what is killing who and where and how will simply never stop. What does need to stop is us and our political leaders listening to them.

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